Playa del Inglés
Number of rooms: 34
Rate range: 44-100 EUR (per bungalow per night)
Owned/Managed by: Gay men
Clientele: All Male
The complex is located in the centre of groovy Playa del Ingles, just off the main road that leads from the Yumbo Centre to the beach, the Avenida de Tirajana. This means you're about a ten minute walk from the fleshpots of the Yumbo and seven or eight minutes' walk from the start of the beach. You're also conveniently located opposite the Cita Centre which, as well as being fairly handy for shopping and generally mooching around, now has a handful of gay bars to keep you amused till the wee small hours.
Los Almendros is made up of 33 one bedroom bungalows and just one studio, or granny flat. Each air conditioned bungalow has one bedroom which, in turn, is equipped with either twin beds (ie two singles) or a queen size bed with room enough for three, should the need arise. If, however, there are three of you in a bungalow and you're not that intimate, you'll be pleased to know that there's a perfectly comfortable sofabed in the living room.
The kitchenette, which is separated from your living room by a breakfast bar, incorporates a fridge with a freezer compartment, a couple of cooking rings, a coffee machine, a kettle and enough cutlery and crockery for basic self catering. We also provide you with an iron and an ironing board so you can look nice and pretty for us when we cruise into town to make a snap inspection.
Every bungalow, as well as being air conditioned, has a TV for rent both in the living room and the bedroom (including pay-perview XXX DVDs) and there's a safety deposit box for hire. This really doesn't cost very much and is well worth it for extra security and peace of mind. You'll need to pay a refundable deposit for your air conditioning remote control thingy. Everyone has their own furnished patio great for al fresco dining which comes equipped with a table, chairs and sunbeds.
Of course, sunbathing isn't just limited to your own patio; there are plenty of lawns dotted around the place which are great for chilling and chatting while, as you'd expect, there's also some room around the large swimming pool. You can reserve a pole position poolside bungalow by paying a small supplement, details of which can be found in our price page. These poolside bungalows tend to be the first to sell out. If you do prefer this prime location especially with a double bed it's best to book as early as you can.
If you were paying attention a few paragraphs back you'll remember that we mentioned a studio. This is designed for one person only and, rather than having a separate living room and bedroom, has a combined space with a single bed. Other than that, it's fairly similar to the bungalows inasmuch as it's got a walk-in shower room, kitchenette, patio, aircon and TV. It also boasts a lovely pool view and is just a few steps away from the Jacuzzi.
Talking of the Jacuzzi, you'd probably like to know that it's huge and, what's more, it's heated during the winter.
Pretty decent bar which, is pretty much the focal point of the whole complex, especially if Bessie and the other Brighton Belles are in town, alongside which there's a rather good restaurant serving breakfast, lunch, dinner and all day snacks. Complimentary internet access is available from the little indoor seating area alongside reception, which is a fabulous boon for those of you who like to keep their Gaydar profile updated with your latest sexy holiday pics or, for that matter, to stay in touch with Watford FC's football results.
If you're as partial as we are to a bit of cheeky nudity, you'll be thrilled to know that there's absolutely no problem with nude sunbathing, especially if you've got a huge willy (guys) or especially pert bosoms (gals)! Only joking, the human body in all its forms is a beautiful thing and we dont believe in media-generated, unattainable stereotypes. Well, that's our excuse for being overweight, balding and saggy, anyway!
The lovely Los Almendros maids will clean your bungalow five times a week, change your towels three times a week and replace your bedlinen once.
Location: Playa del Ingles, Gran Canaria, 33 air contitioned bungalows. located opposite the Cita Centre and 10 minute walk to the Yumbo Center
Hotel facilities: Each bungalow has a choice of a single or double bed, there is a kitchenette with fridge, freezer, cooking rings, plenty of crockery, kettle, coffee machine, iron and ironing board, two televisions, linen changed twice a week, there is a large pool, poolside bar and restaurant.
Room facilities: One bedroom bungalows
Terrace, Kitchenette with fridge, Satellite/Cable TV, Safe, bathroom with bath or shower